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(I SEE A KETTLE AND I WANT TO) CALL IT BLACK............to the tune of "Paint It Black"



I see a kettle and I want to call it black

I'm rubber and you're glue, your insults all bounce back

I see some guy walk by as rude as he can be

I have to close my eyes to not see that it's me



I read some kettle's posts and tell him he is black

Taste, logic, and fair play; all qualities I lack

I see people shake their heads and quickly look away

Put me in their killfiles, that just happens every day



I look back at my self and see that I am black

I see my faults laid out I'm a pot painted black

Maybe now I'll run away and not have to face the fact

It's not easy facing up when you yourself are black



No more will I go easy on a poor newbie

I cannot foresee this thing happening to me

If I flame hard enough into enough newsgroups

Someone will laugh with me against the other dupes



I see a kettle and I want to call it black

I'm rubber and you're glue, your insults all bounce back

I see some guy walk by as rude as he can be

I have to close my eyes to not see that it's me



Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm [x4]



I want to call the kettle, call it black

Black as night, black as me

I want to have the truth covered up from my eyes

I want to call the kettle, call it, call it, call it black

Yeah



Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm [fade]

**********



HISTORY ..........To the tune of "Yesterday"



History

Where the quizzes are a mystery

It's the class that makes you blistery

Oh how I hate history

Certainly

I am really failing miserably

Is there no escape for you or me

Oh how I hate history

Why he had to come

We're so dumb

He doesn't care

I did something wrong

Now I long

To not be here

Saturday

Mr. Demers seemed so far away

Now it seems as though he's here to stay

Oh why can't he just go away

Why he made a quiz

I'm no whiz

I'm gonna flunk

I did not study

It's cruddy

And now I'm sunk

Yesterday

A quiz was such an easy thing to take

Now he knows that I am just a flake

I'll never get out of history...

I've been informed it's an 'altered' version of the song.

I've requested a copy.

HE'S BANGING BRAD............ To the tune of "It's Raining Men"



Hello! I'm your narrator (uh huh)

And I've got a tale for you

You better listen!

Get ready for a strange journey

And leave those umbrellas at home



Frank-N-Furter is rising

His head is going low

According to their shadows

Brad is about to blow

Cause tonight for the first time

Although he's 28 years old

For the first time in his whole life

Brad gonna get cornholed



He's banging Brad! Ay chihuahua!

He's banging Brad! Oh man!

He had to sneak in, put on a Janet wig

Before he could seduce that prig

He's banging Brad! Ay chihuahua!

He's banging Brad! What a messy man!

Tall, dark, innocent

It took Brad to make Frank spent



Doctor Frank-N-Furter

He does men and women too

Had Rocky and Janet

And knew that he couldn't stop at two

He knows every angle

To captivate a guy

So that each and every human

Sees that he's a perfect bi

He's banging Brad! Ay chihuahua!

He's banging Brad! Oh man!

He's banging Brad! Ay chihuahua!

He's banging Brad! Oh man!



Brad sang "Once in a While"

Had regrets for what they did

Can't stop thinking

About getting head

Watched Frankie leave and stayed in bed



After Frank-N-Furter

Left to see where Rocky was

Brad stayed smoking a fag

In a mellow post-coital buzz

Riff Raff came upon him

Had to come inside him next

Showed that each and every Tranny

Was bi and oversexed

He's banging Brad, yeah!



The castle is rising

The humans left behind

Deep inside Brad Majors

The truth's not hard to find

After that night and for all time

He thinks about what he had

And now he lives with Doc Scott

Who's gonna start banging Brad...



He's banging Brad! Ay chihuahua!

He's banging Brad! Oh man!

He's banging Brad! Ay chihuahua!

He's banging Brad!